Swine flu. Run for my life!
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Randomize
