i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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