i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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