I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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