yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
