Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I think my vagina is haunted
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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