We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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