she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
