a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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