you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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