Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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