It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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