I just pynch a tree in the face
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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