Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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