Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize