She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
