ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I think I died a long time ago.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Randomize
