remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
