it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize