you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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