Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
