I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
don't judge my taste in strippers
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
