he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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