White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
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