did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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