Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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