i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
The uberlube is also flammable
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
