wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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