careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
