Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
