Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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