Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Randomize
