The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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