He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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