the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
