we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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