If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
