know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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