Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
he high fived his dick after we had sex
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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