Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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