all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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