ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Randomize
