I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
