I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
