Soap is not a condiment
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
A bitchslap is in order.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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