5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
