i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I need a burrito and a hug.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
how drunk are you?
Several
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
