Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
...so i touched it.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
