I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
