i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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