he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I stole a fireplace last night.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
