I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
