He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
