But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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