just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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