He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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